You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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