I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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