Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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