you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
