Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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