He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
