Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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