it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
