some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My life is pants optional.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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