Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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