Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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