he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
