So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
