So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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