I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
