i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
