so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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