Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
