well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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