sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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