so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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