this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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