I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
