i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
