I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My penis needs a shock collar
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
