You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
