There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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