dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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