I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
