I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
