We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.