I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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