Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.