i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.