I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards