I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize