Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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