i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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