If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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