Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
