think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
