I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drunk is not a location!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
