just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
