shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
