I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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