i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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