I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
