It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
