So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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