That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
