we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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