Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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