I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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