My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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