Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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