I CAN MOONWALK!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
