I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize