Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
