If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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