i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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