3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
