That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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