so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
